SO FREAKING HARD!!!!!!!!!!

It's been a little over a year since my surgery and I would do it againin a minute!  However, it's gotten so hard.  I have lost 110lbs, which is a lot, I know, but I want all of the weight gone TODAY.  If anyone finds a surgery for that please let me know.  I will admit that I do cheat and eat some bad things and I have not been exercising like I should be.  Life is crazy right now.  Dylan just turned 8, which makes me completely sad.  Crazy right!?  That's my baby...and he's just growing up way to fast.  He doesn't even let me kiss him in public anymore.  He's in tackle football of course and that consumes 5 days of our week for about 2-3 hours on those days.  I feel like our life is just going through the motions.  I'm trying to teach myself to sit back and enjoy each stage of my babies lives.  Jackson is 3 now and BAD!  He's so cute though...and he definitely knows it.  He looks at you with those big brown eyes when he does something bad and says "I'm sorry".  How do you get mad at that??  But, all that being said that's where I am and still have so far to go.  I have to get myself in check and focus on myself sometimes.  I am determined to lose this weight and NEVER want to go back to where I was.  It's just so mental because even though I have lost over a hundred pounds I still see myself as the person I was before.  I know that I'm not but lately when I look in the mirror I just have this attitude of disgust.  I don't know what is wrong with me but I am gonna shake this and move forward on my journey.  God has blessed me with a great life and I AM going to be the best I can be.  Until next time...<3

I know it's been a while...

I know it's been a while since I have blogged but life has been busy and Dylan has been in baseball.  So, it's been 9 months since my surgery and I'm off all of my medication.  I'm very happy about that.  I have lost 100lbs and am completey proud of myself and how far I've come.  I do have a lot further to go but I am taking everything day by day to achieve my goal.  Here's a pic of me and Doug about 3 weeks ago.

Two months down....forever to go

It's been two months now since my surgery and I'm feeling great.  I have a lot more energy and getting better adjusted to eating without vomiting.  I've lost approximately 50 pounds and I am totally pleased.  I have been digging into the Halloween candy a little but, I have managed to get myself into check.  I am still walking 15 miles a week but I have added floor exercises to my program.  The floor exercises consists of sit ups, push ups, leg raises and donkey kicks (that's what me and my girl call it).  All in all, things are great and life is wonderful. 

Halloween Aftermath

Yesterday was Halloween and we had a blast!!  Dylan was a zombie punk rocker and Jackson was Woody from Toy Story.  They were so adorable, of course.  We went to my in-laws in Central and the boys got waaaaay too much candy.  People kept giving Jackson extra handfuls because he was so cute.  So, to avoid temptation I brought Jackson's bag to work and filled candy dishes all across the office.  My friends Matt, Renee and their son Ethan came and introducted us to some friends of theirs, Jason and Kaci, that seem pretty cool.  They brought their two little girls that were very sweet.  We had lots of food that I could only taste and a really good time.  By the time we got home at 9:00p.m. my boys were completely sugared up and out of control.  Tonight will be the Halloween aftermath of two sleep deprived little boys that want to eat candy all night.  Here are a few pics from last night.

Happy Anniversary!

Today is mine and Doug's 9 year anniversary.  Look what I got.....

Kids say the darndest things!

I met with Dylan's teacher earlier in the month for parent conference day and I got his report card.  Which by the way he's on the honor roll.  When I walked in his teacher asked me how I was feeling.  I said good but was puzzled because I didn't tell her anything was going on.  She then proceeded to tell me that Dylan told her that I was having surgery (at the time) and she asked him if I was ok.  He told her "yes ma'am, she's just going to get skinny".

THANKS DYLAN!!  I could only laugh.

FRIDAY BLAH'S!!!

It’s Friday and most people are really excited and happy that the weekend is approaching. Today, not so much for me. I can’t really explain why so, I will just call it the Friday Blah’s! I think I’m going to blame this mainly because 2 of my 3 boys are going fishing this weekend and it will be just me and Jax. While, I’m excited that I can have complete control of the remote, I’m going to be lonely. I am starting to get sick with sinus and really don’t feel like socializing with ANYONE, so, I guess it’s a good thing I will be by myself . Maybe my blah’s are because I’m mentally missing food. Most of the time I’m not hungry and have to make myself eat but there is the other occasion that my head overrides my stomach and I have bad thoughts. Thoughts of all the things I’m not supposed eat so I try to shake it off. I haven’t walked at all this week because my walking buddy is out of town and I’ve been super busy...ok, still no excuse. Next week back on track with my walking, clear head and high spirits. Sounds convincing huh? Hope you have a great weekend! Mine will be filled with pulling weeds, cleaning house and kissing on my yum yum, aka...Jackson.